Earlier in the term Room 23 were given 3 pictures to choose to write about. Outlined below is the set tasks...
Description
Please write a descriptive piece of work. Make sure you punctuate your sentences and use
capital letters. Your sentences need to make sense.
In this piece of writing, think about how you might feel, what do you see, what do you smell,
what can you taste, who is doing what, try to use your senses when thinking about what to
write.
Please remember this is not a narrative piece. You are writing a descriptive piece of writing.
Put similar ideas together and write them as a paragraph.
Below are some examples of the students stories that they have put together. Did they meet
the success criteria?
The sea
The flawless turquoise covers everything I can see. It's immeasurable color sparkles in the daylight. The sparkly and beautiful color is spellbinding holding me fast.
I attempt to dive into the freezing water but instead I belly-flop and choke on the fluid, YUCK! The saline of the sea disgusts me. I feel betrayed, but I just can't leave for some reason.
As I lie here I notice a gust of wind comes while the palm trees create it's little "Palm Tree Dance". It waves from one side to the other which increases and slows as the wind that comes and goes. The wind shapes the palm tree which lets it become a part of shade for both the sea and sand.
My eyes uncontrollably float up to the azure sky, it's like my eyes were locked in place. I can see the crescent moon but I can also see the sun going down … I look at my watch and I realize how late it is. It's time to go...
Abid
The Beach
A breeze of cold air whooshing upon my body and sand brushing my hair.
My toes are sinking into the soft sand. I see a huge deep void in the water and it engulfs me as I dive in. The ocean is so cold that I can not bear staying in it. I have to get out.
I see green palm trees filled with coconuts. A crack of sunshine peeks through the hills. I hear birds singing sweetly to me.
The blue sky allows the warm rays of the sun to dry my body.
It's fun to be at the beach because I love how the water splashes on me.
Jacob
A day at the beach
The crystal clear water splashes on the seashore near the dark green palm trees making the wood wet.
Crabs are crawling and pinching my feet, Ouch!
I smell a nice cool breeze flowing on my face.
I hear the waves splashing into the seashore. I also hear the trees rustling in the wind. The trees shake like a tornado. In the distance
I see some mountains that don’t seem to be giant like other mountains. They are just medium sized and nothing too big. I look at the distance, seeing fish in the water swimming around in the shiny blue sea.
Yahya
The Luxurios Waves
I can see the magnificent waves lifting its arm to touch the shore, and splashing like a bunch of mini explosions "BOOM!" "SPLASH"!.
While admiring the beautiful waves, I lift my head and start concentrating on the sky, and the unsteady seagulls. It's almost like, the seagulls are flying with the puffy clouds, and having the time of their life!..
I am able to feel the wind, like it is pushing me miles away from where I am "SWISH"!, but actually, I'm at the same spot as usual. Also, I can hear the Palm trees making hysterical noises, which I believe is because of their fronds swaying in the wind.
Looking at the blue sky, I start getting distracted towards a salty smell, which ends up being fish. I could also smell the salty water and seaweed, but the thing I love most about this beach is the soft sand, almost like a golden blanket in a bed.